Seize The Moment
by Rolivianna
Summary: Traumatic experiences brings clarity. Rolivia. R&R
1. Chapter 1

**This is just a one shot, maybe possibly a two shot. Also my third Rolivia fic. Let me know what you think.**

 _ **Seize The Moment**_

Her head was pounding, throat dry, and body stiff. The sound of a heart monitor bled with the ticking of a clock and the dripping of an IV. She didn't have to open her eyes to know where she was. A hospital. The fourth time this month. It was because of the seizures, she already knew, but what she didn't know was how she got here this time. She didn't know why her head felt more sore than usual, why her eyes felt twice as groggy. This time was different, and she wanted to know why.

A faint voice brought her from her thoughts. She recognized the voice, immediately; it was one she'd come to love hearing. Her boss' voice. Olivia. She tried opening her eyes, but it turned out to be harder than expected. She must be pretty drugged up to not be able to function properly.

"I think she's waking up.." She heard Olivia murmur. She faintly felt pressure on her arm, a warm contact. Olivia's hand was caressing her forearm, and it made her heart beat faster. Only this time, everyone in the room could hear it. "Amanda, honey, can you open your eyes?"

 _I'm trying,_ she wanted to say, but her throat was too dry, too sore to try and speak.

She heard another voice then, a deeper one, most likely a man. All sounds were blending together. She felt her eyes squeeze shut, reacting to something. She peaked one open, and realized that it was light. If they wanted her to open her eyes, blinding her probably wasn't the way to do it.

"Ms. Rollins, can you please try and open your eyes?"

She tried harder then, wanting to see what all the fuss was about. It took a few minutes, but she successfully got them open. Things were slightly blurry, but she could tell who was in the room. A nurse- no, two- a doctor, and Olivia.

"Ms. Rollins, glad to see you're finally awake," The doctor said warmly.

"Detective," She muttered out of instinct.

"Of course. _Detective_ Rollins. Do you think you can answer a few questions for me?"

She nodded, eyes searching for Olivia again, seeing the older woman perched in a chair next to the bed somehow made her feel better. She'd noticed over the past few weeks that things between them were changing. They were growing closer, edging their way past friendship, but never acknowledging the change; they just let whatever was happening, happen. She was glad to see that her lieutenant was here.

The older woman squeezed her arm and smiled softly as the doctor began his questions.

"Do you know where you are?"

She arched a tired brow, "The hospital."

"City?"

"New York."

"Very good. Do you know why you're here?" He asked, jotting down notes as they went back and forth with questions and answers.

"I'm assuming it's because I had another seizure."

"That's correct. This time was a little more serious than the last though, and we had to perform surgery. It was a routine operation, by the book, and I'm glad to say that you shouldn't be experiencing seizures any time soon."

Amanda's eyes widened. "Surgery?" She looked at the brunette sitting next to her and furrowed her brows. "What _happened?"_

Olivia sighed, running her fingers through her stress tangled hair, "You had another seizure at work, I called a bus and when I got here, they said you'd been rushed to surgery. Four seizures in a month isn't exactly good so they had to do a uh.." She looked at the doctor, eyes asking for help.

"A temporal lobectomy; it's a procedure where we go in and take out part of your temporal lobe, which is the part of your brain causing your epilepsy. It's a very simple procedure, detective. You shouldn't have to worry about another seizure."

Amanda nodded, a hand lifting to the side of her head that throbbed, and felt a curved scar, stitched shut. It was a large one, and she felt like crying. She didn't know if she should be scared or relieved. She wiped stray tears from her eyes and looked back at the doctor, "Uh, s-so I won't have any seizures anymore then?"

"That's what I'm expecting; these kinds of surgeries have very low complication rates and very high successes."

She nodded once more, not knowing how to respond. She muttered a silent 'thank you' and looked back at Olivia, a tired look on her face. As if reading her mind, Olivia looked at the staff in the room. "Is that all for now? Does she need to sign anything?"

"For now, yes, and we can focus on paperwork in a few days when she's less medicated. The drowsiness should wear off when we wean her from the stronger pain medication, but that won't be for a day or two."

Olivia nodded, the doctor continued. "We'll get out of your hair now," He joked, "but we will have to check in hourly, just to make sure everything's good up there." He tapped his own head with his index finger, and ushered the nurses out, closing the door behind him.

Olivia turned back to the younger woman. "How you feeling?"

"Alright for now, head hurts a little bit."

Olivia caressed Amanda's arm again, tilting her head. "Are you thirsty?"

The blonde hadn't thought about her throat since she woke up, and as soon as Olivia mentioned something to drink, she felt the effects of her dry throat. She nodded and watched as Olivia got up, grabbed a small water from the mini fridge, uncapped it and stuck a straw in.

She took the cold beverage and sipped, enjoying the cold fluid as it ran down her throat. She hummed in appreciation, "Thank you."

Amanda set the bottle down on the table hovering above her knees, and cleared her throat. "So epilepsy, huh? That's why all the seizures happened."

Olivia shook her head, "I was so worried when they had you in surgery. I was going out of my mind. I think I'm gonna have to write letters of apology to a few of the staff members." She smiled sheepishly.

"Ah, they're used to it." Amanda smiled back, taking in the appearance of her boss. She noticed that she was in the clothes from a day before and she frowned. She hadn't been home to change, shower, see her son, sleep. "Liv, I'm okay, you should go home and get some rest.. See your boy."

The older woman shook her head, leaning forward to brush blonde strands from the younger woman's face. "They came by while you were sleeping. I cuddled him and Lucy had packed a bag for me.. I can shower and sleep here. Besides, they went to the zoo today."

Amanda felt guilty for taking her boss from his son, but she felt grateful that she was here, comforting and supporting her. She felt a rush of heat in her cheeks at the proximity of the brunette. It was as if boundaries were erased.

Olivia moved from the chair to the edge of the bed, she looked down at Amanda, and the younger woman's breath hitched. "You have no idea how glad I am that you're okay."

There was no denying the attraction between them, it'd been there for months, and neither really did anything about it. Maybe now was finally the time to change that. Amanda knew that it would be difficult, especially with their jobs being an interference, but she didn't care anymore. She wanted Olivia, she wanted the caring, loving, beautiful Olivia, not just as a colleague and friend, but as a significant other. A lover.

So she decided to seize the moment. Wrong choice of words, she thought, but she didn't really care.

She reached up and wrapped her fingers around the back of Olivia's neck, pulling her down softly. Their lips connected within seconds, and it was pure bliss. The pain in her head was gone, Olivia was breathing air into her lungs, filling her heart with affection, and it was utterly amazing. Her fingers tightened, drawing the older woman closer, her own lips parting to take a plump bottom lip in between them.

Moments later, Olivia moaned lightly, pulling away slightly to take in a deep breath. "What was that?" She purred, licking her lips subconsciously.

Amanda smiled, eyes lowering to look at the other woman's plump, kiss swollen lips, and shrugged. "Traumatic experiences bring clarity."

"Is that so?"

Amanda smirked, "I think it's pretty clear that I want to kiss you again."

Olivia smirked back, cheeks staining with blush, "I think it's clear that you need to get some sleep." She shot back wryly. When she took in the pouty look on her subordinate, she laughed lightly, then leaned in, kissing her deeply, tongue delving deep, taking what she wanted.

The increasing sound of the heart monitor made them tear apart, and Amanda blushed fiercely.

"Now, rest. I'll see when you can eat and then I'll go get us some food depending on what the doctor says. Okay?" Olivia spoke softly.

"Now," Olivia purred, "I want those pretty eyes _closed_."

 **End… Maybe.**

 **R &R if you want a second part. May even bump the rating up to M. I'm gonna need some convincing though.**

 **Anna**


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm keeping this story T rated because it's sweet and a different muscle to flex (Seeing as I** _ **always**_ **do M rated stuff). I hope you enjoy this long awaited part two!**

 **Anna**

 **Part 2**

She woke up to the smell of bacon, coffee, and something sweet. It had been like this every weekend since she'd been staying with Olivia, and it was something she could get used to. It had been about a month since she was released from the hospital, and a week since her stitches had been finally removed. Her week long stay at the hospital had been boring and it drove her up the wall, so she was more than happy to let Olivia take care of her. Plus, the older brunette wouldn't take no for an answer.

She slipped out of bed, wrapping her favorite robe around her body and her fingers went habitually to her healing scar on the side of her head. She would be forever thankful to the doctors for not shaving half her head.

She made her way out into the kitchen and spotted Olivia and Noah, giggling as they made pancakes.

"Mornin'," Amanda smiled, padding lightly over to the island and sitting next to Noah. "Whatcha makin' pal?" She asked, giving Olivia a coy wink.

"We makin' you pa'cakes! An' mommy maked bacon an'.." he looked at his mother in confusion, and the older woman rolled her eyes good naturedly.

" _Cof-fee,"_ She pronounced, taking a sip out of a mug. She then placed it in front of the younger woman with a flirtatious smile. "For you."

"My favorite. Contaminated coffee." She smirked, taking a sip of the hot beverage. Olivia _did_ know how to make a fantastic cup of coffee.

The brunette set her spatula down and arched a brow. "You could always give it right back."

"I said it's _my favorite."_ Amanda flirted, holding the drink away when Olivia reached over to grab it.

Olivia chuckled and turned back to the task at hand. Amanda watched adoringly as the older woman poured batter onto the skillet and watched carefully as it cooked before flipping it. Their chemistry was through the roof, they flirted non-stop and more often than not, Amanda found herself turned on by little things.

Like when Olivia would sometimes walk around in her robe and obviously nothing else, or when she'd wear shorts to sleep in on a warmer night, or when she put her hair half up and had those sexy black frames on. Or, and this was her favorite, right before bed, they'd both be in their sleepwear, Olivia in her almost see through oversized white t shirt and no bra.

Amanda had started a few makeout sessions over the last month that the lieutenant had always stopped. Right before the blonde's hand made it to her lover's breast, Olivia would pull away and remind her of her health. A week ago, she understood why, but now, it's been nearly a full 7 days since she got her stitches removed and the scar was almost completely healed. Olivia's cautious approach was appreciated then, but now it got on Amanda's nerve, seeing as the other woman stopped them before anything really _good_ happened.

"Alright, you two. At the table."

Amanda and Noah giggled as the sat at the dining table, watching as Olivia brought over two large plates of pancakes and bacon, and one small plate of diced pancakes.

"Smells great, Liv."

"Yeah, mommy! Smells great!"

"Thank you both," Olivia cooed, mostly to Noah, but the younger woman didn't miss the appreciative gaze she got from a pair of chocolate eyes.

…

Later that day, after Olivia had put Noah down for his after-lunch nap, both women had settled on the couch for a movie. Olivia noticed how Amanda would poke her fingers at her scar occasionally, and she arched a brow. "Does it itch?"

"A little, yeah. I forgot to put the healing cream on it yesterday so it feels dry."

Olivia shook her head, "You can't forget to do those things, Manda." She scolds lightly, tapping the other woman's knee. "It's in your bathroom, right?" She asked, padding towards Amanda's room. The younger woman nodded and leaned back on the couch, waiting for Olivia to return.

"We gotta get you a refill." She heard the brunette mutter behind her. The older woman sat down next to Amanda, this time closer, and gripped the blonde's chin in her forefinger and thumb. Olivia turned her head so she could get a good angle to apply the cream. "It's looking good. A little dry, but not too bad." The lieutenant muttered as she gently parted Amanda's hair.

Amanda relished in the close proximity, subconsciously leaning into Olivia's touch. She'd only done this a few times, but when she did, her fingers and the way she applied the cream were incredibly gentle, and it turned the blonde on to no end.

Olivia made sure to apply the cool cream to every inch of the scar, gently rubbing it in until the area was no longer dry.

"There. We'll do this again before you go to bed. No more forgetting." She smirked, capping the tube and setting it on the coffee table. Before she could move back to her original spot, Amanda cupped her cheeks and pressed their lips together. Olivia smiled against the younger woman's mouth and kissed her back softly, her own hand coming up to caress the side of Amanda's neck.

Amanda pushed Olivia down, deepening the kiss by degrees, and moaned when the brunette let her. This was usually about the time the older woman would slow it down, gently reminding her that she was still healing. Maybe Olivia was finally going to let things happen. She took a chance and let her hand slide down over the lieutenant's breast, stopping briefly to squeeze it before settling just underneath.

She pressed a leg between Olivia's, and moments later, the inevitable. She's being gently pushed away.

"God, Olivia, _why?"_ She groaned, leaning against the back of the couch.

"Amanda, I think you know-"

"I _knew_ when I had the stitches in. Now they're out and it's closed and it's been five weeks since the surgery." She rolled her eyes, a hand coming to rest on the older woman's thigh. "I want this Olivia, I'm serious about this, us."

The older woman blew out a suppressed breath through pursed lips and looked at the other woman. "I want this too.. I just worry that if you do anything too strenuous, you'll seize again. The doctor said there was a fifteen percent chance that you'll still have a seizure." She spoke, concern etched all over her face and permeating her voice.

Amanda let out another groan and squeezed Olivia's thigh irritatedly. "Olivia, I had a _ninety-nine_ percent chance of seizing before I got the surgery and I ran every day."

"And it happened four times."

"Look. If you don't trust that I know my own limits and what my body can or can't take, then I'll just take care of it myself. Without you." She grumbled, snatching her hand away and standing up. She ignored the shocked look on her boss' face and stalked towards her room.

…

Noah had woken up before they could talk again, so the subject had to be set on the back burner. Although tense, the rest of the day had been somewhat easy, and they had both loosed up by dinnertime.

The three of them sat at the dinner table, eating their chicken and rice, having an in-depth conversation about how the color _red_ was less pretty than the color _blue._ Afterward, Amanda did the dishes while Olivia got the little boy bathed and ready for bed. He insisted on both of them reading him _two_ stories, and the older woman had reluctantly complied, taking note that it was still a little early in the night and the boy had cleaned up his toys earlier without being asked to.

They crowded onto his tiny twin sized bed and read both books, each women giving the young boy a chance to try and read a few of the words himself. Eventually, his eyes began to droop and no more than ten minutes after that, he was asleep soundly.

Both lieutenant and detective awkwardly smiled at each other and went to their respective rooms. Amanda felt a tinge of hurt and sadness when Olivia didn't speak a word to her after they had put Noah to bed, and had decided that there was no reason to stay up any later if the atmosphere was going to continue to be tense.

She was nearly fully asleep when a soft knock on her door tore her from her almost slumber. She mumbled a dry, "C'min," And the door creaked open. Olivia popped her head in first, a shy smile on her face before fully stepping in. Amanda nearly fell out of the bed when she saw what Olivia was wearing; a short, black silk robe that she'd never seen before. Her legs were bare and the neckline dipped down in between her voluptuous breasts, exposing a healthy amount of cleavage. Her hair was down past her shoulders and naturally wavy, and it was the sexiest sight the blonde had ever seen in her life.

"Liv-" She croaked, but was cut off when the older woman started speaking, tan hands nervously moving to the knotted sash holding the silky fabric together.

"I'm sorry you feel like I do not trust you and your judgment.. I was just worried about hurting you and stunting your healing process." She began, closing the door behind her. "I want you to know that this time here, with you, has been difficult for me as well.. It's been so hard controlling myself around you.." She breathes, eyes darkening. "But I promised the doctor.. A-and myself, that I would make sure you heal properly."

She stepped towards the younger woman, dark brown eyes fixed on wide blue ones, and she smiled softly. Her lips parted sensually as she pressed a knee into the mattress, then another, until she was kneeling fully on the bed by Amanda's feet. The younger woman was speechless, eyes focused mainly on the older woman's body and lips.

"I _do_ trust you, Manda." Olivia purred, inching towards the other woman. "I _do_ want you." She straddled the younger woman over the covers, hands pressed into the mattress on either side of Amanda's head, holding her weight up. She placed a kiss against the underside of the blonde's jaw, and whispered, "I just _don't_ want to hurt you."

Amanda let out a shaky breath as she looked up at the woman above her. She'd be forever awed at the kindness and caring nature in the older woman that never seemed to disappear, even in the most erotic and intimate moments. "I know.." Amanda whispered, eyes fluttering shut as the other woman trailed her lips softly over every inch of exposed skin on the blonde's neck.

She felt soft movement against her stomach and looked down to see that Olivia was untying her robe. "So.." Olivia purrs, sitting up slightly, "We'll just go.. _Slow."_

At that, the taller woman slipped the soft material off her shoulders and tossed it onto the floor. Amanda swallowed thickly as her eyes devoured every centimeter of Olivia's soft, caramel skin, from the way her belly curved ever so slightly, to the dark peaks on the older woman's breasts.

"Slow.." The younger woman repeated, and when their eyes finally connected, the powerful waves of attraction and emotion came crashing down inside of Amanda's body.

They made slow, meticulous, love, both women whispering tender words, alternating positions and tempos. It was heady and passionate and perfect. They whispered and moaned and panted and whimpered, and after Amanda came the first time, she went into overdrive, mounting Olivia and devouring her lips and breasts.

Afterwards, they lay tangled in Amanda's sheets, hands wandering lazily and legs entwined.

They took a few moments to catch their breath before the blonde turned to face the older woman, a small, satisfied smile on her face. "See.. No more seizures." She smirked, fingers trailing softly along Olivia's side.

"You sure? That first orgasm looked a little _too-"_ She was cut off when the younger woman squeezed her side. The brunette let out a yelp and laughed, pulling her lover close. "No more seizures." She whispered, kissing Amanda softly.


End file.
